If I go with this thought, I am deep into the alphabet by now. But after mulling this over for a bit, I don't think it works that way. Years ago, while sitting outside of the boys locker room in my high school waiting for a certain boy to show up so I could ask him to go to the homecoming dance with me...I started on the "plan A" path. It was the first decision I made for myself that eventually put me on the path I am on currently. Oh...there have been many twists and turns and huge boulders in the path to moving forward, but I believe I am still on that path.
That was my senior year of high school. Tomorrow I will start the last semester of my senior year of nursing school. I have the same feelings in my stomach/head/heart that I did on that day. What if he says no/what if I fail? What if he says yes/what if I'm a great nurse that no one wants to hire?
My plan A has been an amazing adventure! I have lived in 6 different states. I have birthed and raised 2 amazing kids, who have given me 4 of the most wonderful grands a nani could ask for! I have made some lifelong friends...some that still speak to me, and some that don't. I have moved twice without having jobs in the places I was going to (and drove the AlCan Highway by myself in April...and got lost, and almost ran out of gas, and got a speeding ticket from a real live Mountie), but knowing that God was directing me there just the same. Neither of those moves ended up looking the way I believed they would, but both taught me more about myself than I ever thought I would know. Both allowed me to be part of the lives of some people that are still so dear to me...and I don't even know all their names. I was able to experience the beaches of California and Alaska, and loved them both for different reasons.
And today, on the day before I enter the "ending" of what has been a very long, hard and trying journey...I know that I am still doing plan A. I never stopped being me. Since crawling over a huge boulder in my path 14 years ago, I have been a business owner twice, a customer service rep, a bookkeeper and a hospital registration clerk. All different jobs, but all jobs that are part of my plan. It may look like I started over (several times!), but I don't see it that way. I see a direction change when a door remained closed. I see growth through hard things. But I haven't ever left everything I am and began again. I'm still doing plan A. I am building on the failures and successes of my past.
I don't know where the path will go when this part of the journey is completed, but I have dreams I pray for. God hasn't dropped me yet, and He has promised He won't do that at all...so I just keep moving forward. There hasn't been any ringing cowbells to mark my successes like there was that night of that homecoming football game, but at least I still mostly have my hearing. I am just doing my part to make my plan A something special...something that will have a part in changing the lives of the people around me. Let the journey continue...
