Why is it sometimes so hard to get the words out of your mouth? They fall from your brain out onto your tongue and then they just lay there...waiting for you to just say it. Speak what is on your heart. Don't worry about how it will be received. Just start talking!
I have had several instances in my recent past where I have remained silent, and I sometimes will leave a conversation (or a non-conversation) feeling like a coward. My intention isn't to be afraid to speak what my heart longs to get out there, in fact, I want very much to be the kind of person that can graciously say what is on their mind when they want to. I don't like conflict, but I'm trying to learn to not run from it anymore. I spent years running from things I didn't want to face...but I didn't ever get very far.
Some people are very good at speaking their minds, regardless of how much pain it might cost the other person. I was having a conversation with someone I love recently, and I said it isn't always necessary to speak what is on your mind. The answer to that was "I am entitled to my opinion"...to which I said yes...you are. But it is o.k. for it to remain your opinion silently. Especially if giving the opinion won't change things, but will possibly make the situation worse.
How do you know? Once the words are out, they can't be retracted. You can always apologize...but you can't ever take it back. When you throw a stone into the water, rings emanate out from where it entered...the rings fade away, but the rock is still in there. I had an instance once when I told someone I loved them, and I got silence in return. The words had been given to a friend as a gift, and having it returned unopened was painful. It remains, after all these years, a wound that even now stings. I question still whether I regret giving that gift of words, and even though it does still hurt to not have them acknowledged...I wouldn't want to take them back.
I know I recently posted about the power of our words, but the ones we don't say can have just as much power. I guess I would rather err on the side of caution rather than hurt someone by speaking something that should remain unspoken. But I admit this is one area of life that I wish came with a script. Something along the lines of "this is a conversation that needs to be" or "just talk it out with yourself when you get home". I don't like wondering...or worse yet knowing that I needed to speak up and didn't.
Again...I'm not sure of the point of this :) I had my heart tweaked today by hearing of some words that were delivered in a callous and hurtful way, and it caused me to think about my own actions. I guess all that I can do is to continue to try to act like a grown up that knows how to interact with the people around me. Maybe one day it will become more clear! the end.
No comments:
Post a Comment